in addendum

in the interest of promoting beatiful music, i'm going to spread the reach of my previous post a little wider. instead of just friends, i'm including a few loose aquaintances as well:

• perhapsy - i just started listening to this today and am a big fan already. relation: i spent a few weeks on the road with derek while he was with the winston jazz routine and i with state bird.
• aaron roche - i'm amazed at the honest and gentle music aaron continues to make. he's a rare find. relation: i once spent the night at his house in nashville while on tour. he and his wife were most hospitable.
• brian militana/fell trees - spellbinding. breathtaking. this album continues to haunt me. relation: played on the same bill at a show in nashville. that night, derek nailed it when he asked: "is this what it [felt] like to see Johnny Cash for the first time?"
• the non - i have pimped these guys non-stop (heh!) ever since i first heard them. relation: played a show together with them in their hometown of oklahoma city.

in response to this cascade of inspiration, i began digging out my recording gear from it's winter hibernation this past weekend. one of the main reasons for getting my own place was so that i could dedicate more time to writing and recording. i'm 1/6th of the way through 2009 and i have nothing to show for it so far. this is not good progress. i hope to make up for it in the month of march.

i'm even thinking about cancelling my cable. now, that's dedication.

creation/sedation

a few days ago, i just so happened to stumble across an old blog of mine. it always makes for an entertaining read whenever i remember that demonstrations of my past inner ramblings are still publicly viewable. i started it in the winter of '03 when i was just a spry and naive 21 years old. xanga was really taking off in those days and was pretty much the hub of all my pre-myspace and facebook online activity (side note: it's funny how the internet goes through different "movements", isn't it?). i dutifully continued my blogging from then until sometime in the early summer of '06 which, thankfully, was a summer i'm particularly glad i didn't recount.

i still cringe at my utter and complete nerdiness during that era of my life. but looking back now, that blog serves as a great reminder, as well as a timeline, of days that would prove to be key in shaping who i am. for that, i guess i'm not so ashamed of my geeky postings as i am proud that i was so faithful in writing on it so often. obviously, i'm having a problem with consistency these days (re: the time between postings on this page).

i think that's because writing, in it's essence, is creating. and creating is just, flat-out hard work.

it takes time. and writing on a computer takes purposed time in front of a computer. i spend nearly my entire work day in front of an lcd monitor. so, the last thing my eyeballs enjoy doing every evening is cooking even longer in a soup of gajillions of red, green and blue pixels. writing for me has always come fairly easily but for some reason finding the time and desire to do so hasn't been quite as achievable.

i also think there's a misnomer out there that creating is this free-flowing rush of inspiration and ideas. a frenzy of non-stop imaginative motion. i think a person could get to that place in time, but it takes that initial push and shove to get going. which is pretty much like any other endeavor in life, i suppose. it takes initiative and the passion to push us through when life's many distractions and temptations move us away from our first loves.

oh, and it also helps if you don't have a job. i've been lucky to have a good job but it's one that slowly saps my optimal mental energy during the best hours of the day. when i get home, i have vast stores of physical energy saved up from a day of being pent up in a fabric-covered corner office dwelling. and i feel primed and ready to conquer these great ideas i have in my head. but when it comes time to convert that potential energy into positive, forward motion, my brain taps out.

and then i wake up.

and i'm sitting in front of my tv. or that ever-engrossing entity known as facebook. and the day is gone. and 2-1/2 years are gone. and i don't know what i did of worth in that period of time. nor do i have a record to verify that i was even alive and thinking during that time.

i guess the one thing that keeps these wild-eyed ideas alive in me--the thing that keeps me going--is the glut of creative people i've been surrounded with over the years. this kind of energy has a way of rubbing off and serving as inspiration itself. most of them i consider friends; some i've just rubbed shoulders with for a short amount of time. whether they be writers/thinkers/norm-challengers like dave, aaron, jess (& jim), colleen; musicians/melody-makers/sonic-soundscape-shapers like coby, caleb, nathan, chris; or artists/experience-designers/technicolor-visionaries like joe, craig, seth, mallory; they've inspired me simply by who they are.

whether they know it or not, they have within themselves the God-granted ability of converting an otherwise Indefinable Beauty into a much more tangible glory. it's no less wonderful, it's just a glory that the human soul can more easily comprehend.

and make no mistake, that ability is within us all. for we are created in His image. and our God is a magnificent creator.

i pray that this will serve as a reminder of that God-given ability in you. and in me. however it takes form in your life.

and may this be the start of many more reminders to come.

movin' out

mama, if that's movin' up then i'm...movin' out

at this time next week i will be inhabiting a new space of this great wide world of ours. far, far away? if only it were true. more like 14 blocks away. not as exciting, yes, but still exciting nonetheless.

i've kind of become a big fan of moving. maybe i'm a bigger fan of just rearranging my things. or of finding new ways to arrange them. at any rate, this will be the 3rd time in 3-1/2 years that i've moved. under most conditions, i guess i would be considered fairly mobile. in most other cases i would probably just be considered discontent.

i'm just stepping up my tolerance to living on my own. first i moved in with some friends, next i'm moving into my own apartment. after that, i suppose i'll begin to consider buying a house.

however, nearly everyone has made it a point to inform me that "now is the best time to buy a house". i'm sure that it is. i'm just not convinced it's the best time for me to buy a house. i seriously considered buying one about a year and a half ago. back then, it was also "a great time to buy". it was so good that if i would have bought in back then i would have taken a bath to the tune of several thousand dollars. a little something called the "housing market downturn" happened. you'll note that a "downturn" is really just a nice euphemism for "circling the drain".

i've found that many of the people who are so keen on persuading me to buy a house are usually all home "owners" themselves. maybe they think that if they sway their circle of influence into believing that their particular home-buying decision was a brilliant one they'll feel better about it in these uncertain times. it's kind of like Amway, except the only real kickback is getting all your friends and family into as much debt as you are.

but hey, it's "good" debt right?

i'm not so convinced (deceived?) just yet. if this economic crisis has taught us anything, it's that we have put too much stock into owning real estate. it's just not as foolproof as it once was (or at least as everyone thought it was). and to be honest, i'm perfectly happy living in an apartment. i suppose i'll know it's time to buy a house when i can't stand paying a pesky landlord to fix my leaky faucet and instead decide it's time to start giving my hard earned money to a greedy loan officer for the next 30 years so that i can mow my own lawn.

wait, what?

---

faux editor's note: upon rereading this post a day after i published it, i realize that it probably comes off rather biting to someone who doesn't know me well. please understand this was intended to be a sarcasticly winsome entry (if there is such a thing?). so if i sounded angry when you first read this, go back and have another go at it. only this time, imagine me chuckling after every zinger.

post haste

i decided to censor myself and unpublish my previous entry. judging by the glut of comments and influx of traffic i received in response to it, i'm sure it's removal will widely go unnoticed.

i decided to delete it mainly because of it's bearing on my professional career. unfortunately (or perhaps, fortunately) this site pops up when you google my name. future (or current) employers could just as easily do the same thing. i'm hearing many more are doing just that these days. i'd rather them hear my thoughts on their workplace in person and not from some remote corner of the interweb.

in other news, i did google myself tonight (c'mon, you haven't?) and found out that i have my name attached to several patents from said job. i knew that we had a lawyer applying my boss and i for a patent but wasn't aware that it was far enough along that it would show up online. i'm not sure if it's officially official, but heck, it must be if it's available on google. only wikipedia is more reliable. they let anyone write on there, so you know you're getting the best possible information.

so, why in the world is my name on a patent? about 3 years ago i helped design & develop a storm door with retractable screens for my company. it's a pretty neat concept, actually (it wasn't my idea, i just donated a few little bits of knowledge here and there), and as a result, it's selling very well. now, of course, i saw no extra zero's on the end of my paycheck because of this little invention but i now have the joy of knowing that my name is on a piece of paper safely tucked away in the confines of a U.S. Patent Office filing cabinet.

hooray.

two-thousand great

p[re].s. - many apologies for the increasing lengths of time between blog posts. in my defense, i had a blog nearly typed up a few weeks ago but somehow it vanished into the digital ooze.

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so i finally saw bruce springsteen.

it's been a dream of mine for about a year. yes, a full year. i'm not one of those long-time boss fans, mind you, but i've liked him pretty strongly for about a year and a half. pretty lame as far as fanatics go, i know. but have you seen him in concert? that's what i thought. (note: if you have, you've laid down some major coin.)

let me just say: he's the real deal. oh, and don't forget the e-street band. i feel like they've been given a raw deal throughout their storied partnership. they were phenomenal live and supremely talented. troy and i said afterwards that such talented people finding each other and making fantastic music that reaches the world is truly proof that God indeed exists. i don't think fate and/or fortune is up to that task.

so, the boss = arguably the greatest concert at which i have attended. i was fortunate (ha!) to have attended several other great shows this year so far. i just decided that 2008 was going to be the year i got out and experienced some great music. in most cases i just bought tickets and then recruited some of my closest friends to encompany me.

my comments pertaining to each concert are henceforth submitted for your perusal.

• wilco - february 22nd, 2008 - lakewood civic auditorium, lakewood, ohio - partner in crime: aaron kotasek - i went through a pretty severe wilco phase with the release of their latest album, "sky blue sky", the year previous. i feel like this show was the culmination of that phase and it was pretty much everthing i hoped it would be. it's probably a little early to call wilco legends, but just know that one day they will be.
  

• the swell season (glen hansard and marketa irglova) - may 11th, 2008 - the allen theater, cleveland, ohio - partner in crime: emily heist - i spent a lil more on tickets than i wanted to but we got ourselves some pretty good seats. i was swept away with the hype surrounding the little irish movie this duo starred in, "once", and was practically in tears on oscar night when they won for best song. so seeing them live was pretty much a must. they didn't disappoint and emily and i would come to describe the concert with one word: magical.
  

• iron & wine - june 15th, 2008 - newport music hall, columbus, ohio - partner in crime: ben roth - i may be one of the only people who enjoyed sam beam's latest effort, "the shepherd's dog", more than it's predecessors. that's indie music suicide right there, just so ya know. i just lost all my street cred, but it's the truth. the album must have just hit me at the right time, cuz i fell in love with it. one fun fact from the show was that this band that played with state bird when we toured through oklahoma called "the uglysuit" opened up the. they weren't really that good then and they still aren't good now. ben and i still aren't sure how they cajoled the powers that be to let them play on the bill. iron and wine was pretty superb, however, launching into several jam sessions throughout the evening. top-notch.
  

• radiohead w/ grizzly bear - august 4th, 2008 - blossom music hall, cuyahoga falls, ohio - partners in crime: aaron kotasek, ben roth, dut hershberger - if seeing wilco was the culmination of a phase covering the last couple years then seeing radiohead live was the culmination of my entire college career. radiohead singlehandled defined a shift in my musical tastes to more of what they are today. "ok computer" will forever be one of my top 5 favorite albums, so seeing them in person was mind-blowing. it doesn't hurt that "in rainbows" was one of the best albums of 2007 either. from the lights to the energy to thom yorke's manic dancing, it just doesn't get any better than radiohead, my friends.
  

• bruce springsteen & the e-street band - august 24th, 2008 - sprint center, kansas city, missouri - partner in crime: troy hamilton - it doesn't get any better than radiohead, unless of course you're dealing with a living legend. but then you're dealing with a whole other level. and that is exactly what bruce springsteen is. my biggest dream for this past year was to stand up and sing "born to run" at the top of my lungs. and it happened. how cool. also cool was that i went with my good buddy troy, probably my only friend who was just as excited to see the boss as i was. and also my only friend who could afford it.

if the year ended today i think i could officially brand it as a success. and we still have all of fall, most of football and the festival left to go.